Ayatollah farts cause mooning protest.

Ayatollah Khamenei has emerged from his den and blessed the Iranian election result, this after a prolonged session down the pub with Mr Ahmadinejad, speaking on the steps of the Crusaders Ears Mr Ayatollah had this to say, "Get behind him, ... no . seriously, I've farted.... hehehe.. get behind,, oooh, sniff that."
President elect Ahmadinejad declined to comment, through the uncontrollable coughing fit produced by the Ayatollah's divine gas.
Burma's democracy party leader celebrates her 64th birthday, Aung San Suu Kyi was disappointed in her birthday bash turn out though. Looking on the bright side though, at least she gets to retire next year.
World Cup winner Bobby Charlton has described Deigo Gimp's proposed £80 million transfer fee to Real Moneydrid as vulgar. Often misquoted, the Knighted ex-football star was actually describing the Portugese greaseball' s aroma after slapping on the hair product and merkin all over his body. Ronaldo also stank of shit.
Quoted as stating " If you want to be in the race, you have to pay the price", many experts believe Bobby is referring to the Human Race, of which, the organisors confirmed, neither he nor Ronaldo are any part.
Following yesterdays exclusive reveal, right here on Grimlocks, that Nasa were debating on the future of the moon, it looks as if a decision was reached in the early hours and action has moved swiftly into place, as launching from Cape Canaveral this morning was an Atlas V rocket armed with payload designed to smash directly into the moon. Eminent Astro-gazer Patrick Stewart condemmed the attack on the lunar surface in a statement read by his lawyer. "We are opposed to NASA's decision to attack our beloved moon, we shall now moon for the moon, make it so." and proceeded to drop his trousers.
In other news, four reporters and two photographers were treated for shock today at a press conference held on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, three others were arrested for indecent exposure to Dylithium Crystal radiation.