Branson fart in terrorism incident

Now, I have to admit that last night I went to see the new Michael Bay film, I forget the name of it.
All talk was of incredible special effects, fantastic humour and a well written plot with great acting and an awesome director. They weren't bullshitting either. It was an absolute awesome spectacle. Truly gripping from the start. My only disappointment was a complete and total lack Dinobots. Still, nothing is as perfect as my glorious self.
Now, on to more trivial stuff; English Prime Minister, Golden Brown (texture like shit), has suggested the semi-blogging site, Twatter, could have saved some genocide in Rwanda.... how exactly? They don't have electricity in Rwanda, never mind computers and the fact that this happened in the 90's seems to have slipped Golden Brown's (texture like shit mind. What about the Health & Safety aspect? The H&S nanny-state would have the Rwanda genocidists playing with cloth dollies filled with non-allergenic foam and sewn in eyes. The H&S hitlers are out in force in schools in the UK at the moment, insisting on goggles for putting up posters........ with Blu-tack.... the nonsticky sticky stuff! What next? Wax crayons instead of sharpened pencils? All over bubble-wrap suits for children?
Now, NASA are in complete denial regarding their 'mission to get the moon' as an official spokeman, Billy N'mates, is quoted as saying "Moon..? Nah mate, not us, you're barking up the wrong tree there mate. You want NARSER, they sound like us, but aren't us. Have you seen our nice new rocket..?"
The conversation went rapidly downhill from there. In related news, it was reported thate Richard Branson broke new ground on the US rocketplane spaceport, this was misreported. Richard actually broke wind on a US jetplane and was tasered into submission by security forces after it was alleged he launched a chemical attack.
Formula 1 supremo and general deviant, Max Mosely was seen earlier today buying a Prius. When questioned, he admitted that he was in fact a huge fan of the Prius and wanted to see it introduced into F1 next season in place of Ferrari to give it the green factor. I personally accused him of being a money grabbing sexual deviant who gets off on the publicity, then I realised I was right and called him a twat.
Oh, and Transformers 2..... GO SEE IT.... NOW!