Jobless in drug related haze scandal.

So the Government in the UK has admitted that the 2.26 Million unemployed is the highest since November, sparking rumours of Maryjoanna usage and bearing in mind that figure also includes some high profile ex-members of Parliament, this is likely to be 100% accurate, for a change, the BBC news site reports.
So I checked out the link to Market data and got a website listing the fruit & veg stall in Eastenders.
Analysts ( are they like anal cysts? ) were getting excited about data, what kind of person gets excited about data, me, I get excited about mundane things, like getting the car back from the garage and leveling small Romainian Townships.... oops, that's my 'other' job.
I see President Obama was pretty up himself after swatting a fly mid-interview, quoted as saying "I got the sucker", I thought Monica Lewinsky left the Oval Office years ago, but not being sure we tracked her down and asked her, " Get fucked" she commented, coming from someone with so much experience in the matter, we took the advice gladly.
Rumours are rife here at Grimlock's garage that Alistair Darling's eyebrows are actually two independant interdimentional beings with the power to control the hearts and minds of all around them. This rumour holds substantial water, especially as it came printed on the side of a bucket. This is demostrated well by his latest statement that the current banking regulations are 'not to blame for the credit crunch', which was closely followed by an admission that he wears ladies underwear to cabinet meetings and has a pet George Peppard lookalike, he loves it when a plan comes together.
The other eyebrow is thought to be behind the latest call to ban child-in-car smoking, I'm not sure about you but I would never let my kids smoke in the car, on the bus, sure, but never in the car.
On a completely different note, the Swiss have managed to dig the world's longest tunnel. Travelling through the Alps, it seems to be in a vain attempt to escape the country but the one thing they seem to have overlooked is the fact that although it's an impressive 35 miles long, it opens out in Switzerland still, better luck next time.