PM's Eye transforms to conquer the world.

Here at Grimlock Towers you may have noticed a lack of daily updates in the last few days. This is because I have been working on my Master Plan to convert myself to be able to transform into Golden Brown's false eye. Then I can start to control the moronic PM from within. I think this plan will be masterful.
Speaking today, Golden claims he is very public about spending. As it happens Golden, so am I, so public in fact that I manage to do my shopping out in the open.
Sticking with politics, I couldn't help noticing the rather unfortunately named Lord Adonis, who, let's just say, doesn't quite live up to his name.
The US has opened a major Afghan offensive. President Obama himself looked through the material and was said to be 'quite impressed' at it's content. We've managed to sneak an exclusive look at this material and I have to say, Donkeys & Goats is definitely not my taste.
Are you Being Served actress Mollie Sugden's Pussy has passed away, the cat is said to be devastated.
Michael Jackson's will has been revealed to have left the Estate to his family, the saloon has gone to the butler and the stationwagon is being traded in for the Governments scrappaage scheme so the family can remember Michael at a private dinner, serving under eights afterwards.
In Scotland, parents are worried about being misled about class sizes. Mostly, they are around 30feet by 40 feet but some are a bit bigger.
Despite their crushing defeat in the 80's over the Falklands, it appears that Argentinians are eventually taking over the world. Greasy, moustached Argentine Ants are forming huge colonies in almost every continent around the globe. Thought to be a by-product of the Falklands War and Argentine genetic testing, these ants are mostly placid with the occasional strop if the Queen can't find any humous. This infestation can be eradicated very simply, tiny nuclear devices.
Simple, effective, deadly. Also helps in ridding your garden of weeds.